Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Welcome to the very first episode of youf Best, you, Real Conversations Around Mental Wellness. And if the title sounds very familiar, it's because Andrew over here has been saying it in a lot of his commercials recently. And we figured with the very first episode of this, we have the man who's really helped to launch all of this and getting it going. And the leader here at MHA of Dutchess County. With us, we have CEO Andrew o'. Grady. Andrew, good to have you.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Great to be here. I'm glad we're here and we're glad we're kicking this off. We want everybody to be their best you. So this is going to be hopefully helpful and we're going to. You're going to get to hear a lot about mha. You're going to get to hear a lot from our staff. You're going to get to hear a lot about, you know, what's going on in life and how you become your best you. And we're going to, we're going to answer questions and we're going to have an interactive participation. It's going to be a great podcast.
[00:00:51] Speaker A: I think it's going to be a lot of fun. We have a lot of great episodes scheduled out at this point, this being the very first one and this coming out on a very important day. It's called Time to Talk Day. It's a big thing in Europe. It's making its way over here. But the whole idea is to, it aims to break the silence, reduce stigma and create a culture where mental health is discussed openly. I think it's very fitting that our very first episode is on Time to Talk Day. Why do you feel like it's so important to have these conversations and to push initiatives like Time to Talk Day?
[00:01:22] Speaker B: I've been doing this work for 35 years and, and there's ever since I came to MHA probably 25 years ago.
They're more of an advocacy agency than I was working with before. And you know, we're affiliated with the state organization and a national organization that both do lobbying and raising awareness. And it is in our mission to reduce stigma and make it easier for people to access care, get past the barriers that are self imposed in our heads to get care. And so that's why this is important. I've been saying ever since I became CEO publicly and even before that in any public conversation I've had, or any radio show or television or whatever it might be, that it's important to get help and it's important not to give in to that stigma that's out there. And thankfully, you know, we're at a point where we can push it even further. And that's a great initiative in Europe, but we're finally there, we're finally to a point where the stigma is becoming less, more and more famous people because they carry more weight than non famous people. I guess more and more famous people are coming out and saying, hey, I've had this issue or that issue. And you've had many people on your podcast personally that have opened up and people are being more open, open about it and, and it makes it easier for other people who are then, you know, at a place in their life. Do I get help? Do I not get help? We're going to talk a little bit about later about what, you know, what are the barriers to that and you know, what are keeping. Do you think your, your issues are worse than the other guy? And should I get what all the, all the things that go with the. Getting help. Worried about what people think about you, worried about the. That's where the stigma comes in. You don't want to be embarrassed, you don't want to feel like you have a problem that other people don't have. And it's just not true. We all struggle with something all the time. Somewhere time in our life, we're all struggling with something. And it's not nothing wrong with getting a little help and talking to somebody and just, you know, becoming your best you.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I, I absolutely agree. And whether you're seeking help for long term, short term, whatever the season of your life is going to bring, it's important that we discuss these things.
I don't know if I ever told you the story, but I had a friend of mine, we've been friends since kindergarten, he's out in Florida now and we kind of got separated during the pandemic. I've had anxiety issues for number of years, definitely stemming, 8th grade, definitely high school. And I'm having a call with him shortly after, you know, the pandemic is really loosening up and he's explaining to me the anxiety that he's starting to go through and how he's like really considering therapy. And he says to me at one point, is like, connor, is this what you've always felt all these years? And I goes like, yeah, kind of sounds like it. And he go, and he says to me, he's like, connor, I am so sorry if I never took you seriously with any of this stuff, but based on what I'm feeling right now, this is serious. And this is real. And he was always a great friend. We never had an issue in that regard. But I always find that to be such a critical moment in his life, my life, and I hope I can pass it on to other people when talking about, like, encouraging them on their mental health journeys.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: Well, most people can't understand what anxiety. They're going to have it at some point in your life. But anxiety that comes out of nowhere and is there for no specific reason is what people experience and feel and what you might have been describing, what your friend is now experiencing.
You know, think of it like if you've never experienced it, like your friend didn't understand it until it happened to him. But if you never experienced. And think about when you're in school and you have to get in front of the class to do an oral presentation or whatever it might be that causes everybody anxiety. Think about the anxiety you felt at that moment, which, by the way, those things always get better once you start talking and it's over. But that, that moment of getting up that you're raising your hand, you know the teacher's going to call on you. Whatever that moment is that you're feeling that anxiety. Think about having that feeling, which is horrible, and having it all the time for no apparent reason. At least you know that it's because you're about to go up and do this or. And you know it's going to pass. But a lot of people have that feeling, that feeling of dread, that feeling of fear, uneasiness, butterflies in the stomach, and there's no specific reason for it. So that's something that, that, you know, somebody should get some help for and they should be honest with their doctor about it and talk to somebody. Don't think that that's. That you're weird and you. And there's something wrong with you. It happens, everybody, at some point in your life. But if it's an ongoing thing, it can take a toll on people. If you, if you're living with that unnecessarily and just trying to power through, you know, it can take a toll physically on your body.
[00:05:45] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. It can take a big toll. I remember when back in high school, as I said, for me, my journey with it, we thought I was having heart issues. We thought it was something physical. I was getting all these heart scans and whatnot until didn't even think that it was mental. But, you know, looking back is like, okay, this makes sense. And, you know, now I'm going to, you know, getting the right treatment for it. And working on it. And that's been my journey. You know, as you're saying, the more you do something and get going into it, the easier you feel. That journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Yeah. And that's really important. So here we are on our first single step with this podcast and we're going to be showing off a lot of people here in the MHA community, whether it's case managers, administrators, people who have been affiliated with this for years. We're going to be showcasing what they do, a part of it mha, but we're also going to focus on the things outside of MHA that make them their best selves as well. So as we're getting this program going, what are your expectations and goals that you're hoping to get out of this with, you know, all the staff here?
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Well, I, I want to. Hopefully this platform raises awareness about what our organization does. The incredible staff that we have here, they really put everything out there for the clients. They work so hard and, you know, they are heroes. They work hands on with people and save lives every single day. So I want people to understand what we're doing here. You know, there are many not for profits out there, many businesses out there for that matter, that unfortunately people don't understand what they do.
They know they're there and they know they're good and they're doing. But we want people to understand what we're doing.
And so that's one goal, to get to know the staff as much as they're willing to share, because I want them to be comfortable and share that they've had their own mental health experiences and that makes them incredibly more qualified than the average person that hasn't. When they're working with their clients, they make a better connection. They can tell their clients they understand where they've been and they mean it. So I hope they share that because this is what this is all about. I mean, raising awareness and making everybody feel comfortable talking about it. I would. You'd have no problem if you had a sling on talking about what happened to your arm.
You know, you'd want to tell the story. It's the same thing. It's all part of the body. And, you know, sometimes things don't work. Gallbladders don't work, kidneys struggle, lungs have issues, asthma, whatever it might be, it's all the part of the body. And so having an issue with the mind that causes anxiety or unnecessary stress or depression or whatever that might be, it's all. It's all part of human nature. And so we want to further normalize that. That's the goal of this. Raise awareness about mha, highlight the great things we do here. Because I'm personally very proud of it and I know our staff are. So this is great platform for them. Get to know you, get to know the audience, the audience gets to know us. There's so many goods that can come, good things that can come from this. And I'm really looking forward to it.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: I'm looking forward to it too. You know, the stories that I've already heard, getting ready for this and getting the launch going, it's been fantastic. There's no short of miracle workers here. Yeah, you know, here I am just getting to work in the studio and get to share the stories, but they're the ones out there living these things. So many heart wrenching, so many tough situations, things that they went through themselves and things that their clients are going through, and a mix of both all at the same time too.
I give everybody here so much credit, honestly. I have been brought to tears in a number of these situations. But it's reality for so many people.
And you know, there are people out there who might have their blinders on and not realize it advertently or inadvertently. And maybe this show will be able to help spread some awareness of that and then also hopefully make whoever's watching or listening feel less alone in their own life.
[00:09:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, there's listeners different.
You want to surround yourself with people who are your friend group or surround yourself with people who live like situations as yours.
Not everybody listening or everybody supports. This agency really, truly understands the clientele we work with. You know, we work with people who are really struggling with poverty issues mainly. I mean, they have an income, but it's, it's not a lot. We mainly deal with people on Medicaid. And that comes with a whole other set of struggles on top of some mental health issues.
But the depression piles on, the anxiety piles on when you can't make your rent, when you can't afford food, when you can't. You know, these are called social determinants of health, the things that define our physical health. I'll give you the top four. Housing, food insecurity, transportation if you need it.
There's so many. But you know, your physical health is really important.
So those areas are what we, what we deal with. And we are always dealing with clients who are struggling in all those areas. And so there are stories that, that will make you tear up. I mean, there are stories of people who just feel like they have no place to go. And there are many people who, if they dealt with half that stress, would, Would. Wouldn't be able to handle it.
[00:10:41] Speaker A: They'd crumble.
[00:10:41] Speaker B: They'd crumble. And these individuals, the clients that we work with, they struggle with it and they deal with it every day. But I'm so grateful that we have this agency and other great agencies in our area that are there to help these people. And many people ask what MHA workers do. We're not the therapists or the psychiatrists. We do have that on. On staff, but in a very small scale. We are really, for a better, better term, a health coach, a life coach. We're people that are attached to the clients. We go to their homes. We. We help them make decisions about, you know, should you apply for this or should you get this or you benefit from this, or what could you do to manage your money better? Or how could we shop better and more healthy? And how can we, you know, get you on the bus route or make sure that you're navigating that, helping you navigate life, that we're just in your corner. And that's really depending on no matter what the service is, you call it different things. And we work with children here or families here or adults here, veterans here, people with addiction. It ultimately comes down to that. We're just in your corner. We're here, somebody that's going to guide you and help you. So that's the majority of what we do at MHA, and we have about 230 incredible staff working with about 5,000 people a year. And just so proud of all of them and so grateful that the dedication they give to this agency.
[00:11:57] Speaker A: There's so much to be proud of here. Everything of what you just said right there. It's a very holistic approach. It's the mind, body, soul, and helping out through every single thing that could happen in somebody's life. It's not just kind of from a distance telling you what to do. You get really immersed in everything.
And, you know, there's something that I've seen go on, especially here in the US I feel like there's been a recent resurgence when it comes to religion. And I'm not talking about. And I'm not bringing this up to get into a religious conversation.
I bring this up more for an analogy. I went to St. Peter's Catholic School growing up, so that was my background. We were always taught how Jesus, you know, he wasn't hanging out with the politicians, hanging out with the socialites he was hanging out with the poor, the destitute, the ill, the ugly, the lame, the deaf, all that. He was hanging out with all the people that society cast aside. And there are so many people who talk a big talk but don't actually put in the actions.
Everything I have seen here at mha, everybody is putting in the actions and then some. And I think that is incredible. Again, I'm not saying this to get religious. I'm saying this as an analogy of that's the way to walk through life.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: Well, I grew up in a Catholic household as well. I went to Catholic school.
My kids went to Catholic school. I'm not as involved in it as I. I don't know if I should be or not, but I'm not that involved in it right now. But I do believe that those. Those teachings and the things that. That formed who I am was about service and was about everything you talked about. And most religions have the higher power, whoever that might be, as that person that really wasn't this elitist, was somebody that understood and helped those that were less fortunate. And that's. And I, that's. I kind of try to live my life that way. I'm not Jesus and I'm not. Whatever. I'm running an organization. But I do believe that help those people that are less fortunate, and that's what's really important in life. And to just ignore them or look down on them or. It's just not acceptable. So I'm so on that level, because that's what I believe.
I'm very grateful to be in an organization like this, which we are doing that. When I say we, that's all the staff are doing God's work. I mean, we are really going to where people are literally sometimes in the street, literally sometimes sleeping on the street of Poughkeepsie in the cold weather, under a blanket. We will wake them up, we will get on our knees and we will talk to them and get them to a safer place. That literally happens every day.
We do that work. And that. That is the work that you were just referring to. And that's it. I mean, that's what we're doing. We're not. We're not sitting in office, you know, as a psychiatrist, sitting in a chair higher than somebody, our client, and waiting for them to come in and meet with us every 45min. It's not that. There's nothing wrong with that. That's fantastic. I think people should always talk to a therapist or psychiatrist, but that's not the work we're doing here, we're doing. And you're going to hear some incredible stories if you tune into this podcast. That one I just told you about, about going into the street, that, that just. I just got an email the other day. That's something that just happened yesterday. It happens all the time.
So you're going to hear stories like that. And that's. That's what really is happening here. And. And it's happening all over this country, in every county, in every city. There are wonderful agencies like ours doing really God's work. I mean, that's what it is, absolutely.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: Acts of service right there. And that is 100% what we're looking out to do. We just posted a quote for Martin Luther King Day, and I'm going to paraphrase it because I can't remember the full thing off the top of my head, but it was the greatest question that we can ask ourselves as human beings is, what are we doing for others?
And I think that is so universal and speaks to the mission of mha. So, all that being said, there was another thing that we talked about back in November, if you remember, the video that we did then kind of announcing the studio and the partnership, was that you had this idea of people sending in questions and we can address them the best way possible. Whether we're bringing on guests, people here within mha, whether it's you, whoever might be best to answer those. People can submit stuff. So we're kind of going to soft launch it now for a second.
We're going to put out a form out there where people can submit questions or stories, whether they're positive stories of how Mental Health America has helped you, or questions of, I don't know where to go from here. Send them in. We will screen them. We will do what we can to help you out with them. But right now, we are going to soft launch a tentative name, Ask Andrew, we're going to call it right now.
[00:16:30] Speaker B: You know, it's funny. In college, I had a. It's just ironic. In college, my. My roommate, Ed Shelton, he was always one to just be blunt and to the point, and I was always one to, I don't know, be a little more sensitive. I don't know. So we had a column in college called Ask Ed and Andy. And people used to send us questions, and then we would answer this kind of like Dear Abby, but we would. We would both answer in different ways, and it was interesting. So I just thought of that when we talked about this, because, and. And I'VE done a lot of radio and I've done a lot of television. I can't tell you how many people say they read or hear stuff and which tells me that people are secretly reading anything. Mental health. If there's a mental health story in a paper or, or online or whatever, it read it. Because everybody knows somebody and everybody's connected in some way to something mental health related. So while they won't say it and they won't brag about it, they do. So I think we're going to get a lot of anonymous questions and they don't have to be anonymous. This is all about being your best you. This is all about raising awareness. So put your name on here. Be proud. Be proud. Because you know you're not alone. So you might as well join the crowd.
[00:17:34] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:17:35] Speaker B: Join the cool crowd.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: I'm surprised we haven't talked about that yet, about your Ask Ed and Andy thing. That's awesome.
[00:17:40] Speaker B: I gotta find some of those columns.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: Oh, please do. If you can find any of them, that'd be s.
So we have a few examples here of stuff that people submitted to Reddit, specifically the R mental health subreddit. That's a pretty good place to start. We got three different examples here and I feel like these are three really solid examples.
They were published in the last month, so they're very recent and I'm going to read them off. We're going to just do one at a time, give you a chance to speak on that and we'll go from there. And again, these are examples of if this is something that resonates with you and this sounds like you, feel free to join in the conversation. So the first one I have here from our mental health are these signs of some disorder. I don't have access to professionals. Please help. And the way that they wrote this out, they actually numbered all of these.
I struggle with food, too much eating or too little.
I struggle with sleep, too much or too little as well.
I struggle with basic routines. I have to push myself to do basic tasks.
I want to put the efforts in, but I physically cannot.
My self esteem is too low at a point where it hampers my learning.
I have lost too much of my memory.
I have extreme mood swings.
I also cannot remember things and I go in loops.
I struggle with self image.
I have tendencies to harm myself.
I can't focus.
I live on the edge. I also have extreme skin picking habits. I feel very abandoned and I feel as if I lost all my friends. I take stress like the world is Going to end. I miss out on details or go too deep on them and don't look at the bigger picture. And the last thing they say, any kind of help guys, please let me know. Thank you and sorry for the long post.
So Andrew, with something like that, what would you say?
[00:19:28] Speaker B: That person clearly struggles with both depression and anxiety and I would say it borders on major depression.
You know, think of depression as everything slows down. So about five of those first things you're talking about are related to depression. Now if you said he wasn't sleeping at all and he was up all night, I would say he was probably manic and maybe had to be looked at for bipolar disorder. But in this scenario he's really talking about not having the energy, everything slows down. So think about it, your mind, your mind slowing down. If you're doing really well and you have a couple cups of coffee at 10am Your mind's clicking, you're got a little more energy.
That's, that's really great. That's a great spot to be in. This guy seems to be in, he's, he's in a man, woman, they're in a, yeah, we don't know, like number three or four, a little lower than average.
Which means that, you know, his, his brain's not working as quick. He's forgetful.
He or she, I don't, it doesn't say so forgetful, frustrated, not really moving ahead in life, not being motivated to do anything. Eating too much or eating too little, sleeping too much, sleeping too little are two of the first things you look at to talk to your doctor because something's going on. I would encourage this person to talk to their medical doctor, explain all these symptoms to them.
I would say, and I'm not pushing medication, I'm not a prescriber but I would say a mild antidepressant, depressant medication and maybe a mild anti anxiety medication would go a long way in helping this individual. But talking to somebody or talking to therapist and understanding that it's, it's not out of the norm, you are struggling with something but coming up with coping strategies to deal with the anxiety. The medication doesn't always help with the anxiety. You personally have gone through it. You need to learn coping strategies. Sometimes you need to, you know, we talked about if I had a broken arm and I couldn't, I couldn't move my arm a certain way for the rest of my life, well then I'd have to adapt and I'd have to figure that out. If you're if you have anxiety, there's no magic pill that's going to make it go away like that. The way we get over these things is to learn how to live life with. With it and learn coping strategies and how to reduce it when it's happening. So the spinning in his head, the laying in bed and thinking too much, all that stuff he needs to talk to a therapist about how do you address that stuff when it's happening. Got to take your mind off it. I don't want to go in. We can go in for hours about what the person should do, but he should start with a psychiatrist, not a psychiatrist. Start with his medical doctor, explain the symptoms, maybe start with some mild medication, no side effects. We're not talking about addictive medications.
And then find a therapist and talk to that person and try to come up with coping strategies. You know, his world's getting smaller. He talked about his. His friends groups are. He doesn't have.
[00:22:08] Speaker A: Feeling abandoned.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: If you don't. Well, if you don't have the motivation to go out because you're tired and you say no when you're invited, after the third time you say no, people are going to less invite you. And then your world gets smaller and smaller. If you don't want to go out because you have anxiety, the world gets smaller and smaller. And so everything he's describing is a spiral that he probably, he or she probably should have addressed a long time ago. And this is why we have this podcast. We want people to address this stuff. The first time the doctor asks you, do you have any of this? Do you have any of that? And you always say no because you're lying, because you're embarrassed or you're ashamed. We want you to say yes. We don't want you to end up here. Because that sounds like this poor guy's been suffering and struggling for a long time.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: Absolutely. No, I appreciate everything that you said about this individual. You know, one of the reasons why I picked this one out was because it sounded like me. Before I went to therapy, you know, I had a friend of mine who had passed away, one of my best friends, and I fell into a very deep depression, and a lot of these things sounded like me. And it was like, if this sounds like me, this is going to sound like a lot of people. In my case, I've gone to therapy, I've learned a lot of these coping skills. And yeah, I'm on a very low dose antidepressant. But that's my story. Doesn't mean that's yours. But it's helped me out. So that's fantastic, Andrew. Thank you for that. We got the second one here again from our mental health.
I finally understand why some people are always wearing headphones. It's not about the music. This should be interesting. For the longest time, I judged people who walked around with headphones. Earbuds 24, 7. Like, just experience the world, you know, be present. Don't isolate yourself. Turns out I completely missed the point. I saw someone online mention that a lot of people wear headphones not to listen to music, but to reduce ambient noise. They're not tuning out to be antisocial.
They're just managing sensory input so their brain doesn't go into overdrive. I decided to test this. For the past month, I've been wearing earplugs, ones that don't completely block sound, just reduce it. In everyday life, the difference is huge. I felt like not the world becomes silent, but I can still hear conversations, traffic, important stuff. But all the background chaos, like random conversations, overlapping car horns, construction noise, people's phones, the. That constant auditory assault softens.
I've noticed that my stress level in public space has dropped significantly. I'm not constantly on edge or feeling like I need to escape. My brain isn't trying to process 47 different sounds at once. It's like giving my nervous system permission to chill out. I can actually think clearly in crowded places now. Before, my thoughts would just fragment into static. I'm way less exhausted at the end of the day. Turns out filtering constant noise takes a lot of mental energy. It's not about disconnection. It's about regulation.
It's self care, not rudeness. I'm not saying this works for everyone, but if you struggle with anxiety overstimulation in public spaces, reducing auditory input might help more than you expect.
Just wanted to share in case someone else is dealing with this and hasn't considered this option. All right, Andrew, what do you think about this one?
[00:25:04] Speaker B: I think it's right on target. I mean, I don't personally have that issue, although sometimes things can be a lot.
You know, you also, you want to balance being fully aware of your surroundings because, you know, you got to take care of yourself. Yeah, but you also want to balance that with, you know, what can you. What can you phase out because it is just too much. Some people have sensory overload. Some people are super sensitive to touch, to feel. There's a lot of kids I heard about that, you know, can't wear certain types of clothing because that, it just gets them, you know, over stimulated or impacts them negatively, especially kids with autism.
But on a lower level, you might not have autism or Asperger's, but you struggle with too much. It's too much.
And that person really spelled. I don't really know what to say other than what that person wrote. That person wrote a really well written explanation of what it feels like for people. And yeah, the headphones are a really great idea because it does, it does calm you. You can listen to what you want to listen to. There's also other things. There's something called tinnitus, which is a buzzing in your ear. I have that. My father has it. My father actually said to me, do you know why I always have music on in one room? He doesn't have the headphones. But I said, why? He goes, then I don't hear the tinnitus as much because when you're sitting there in dead silence, it's just a constant, like, buzzing in your ear. But when you're. When there's something you know instead out there, then you don't, you don't hear it. I don't hear it right now, but if I was all by myself, I'd hear it. So headphones help with that.
Yeah, I think that was really well written and, you know, really well thought out. And it's true. You know, it also comes down to judgment.
[00:26:41] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:26:42] Speaker B: This, you know, this is all about, you know, being your best you and getting help. We need to be non judgmental. I mean, if the world was less non judgmental, people wouldn't think about. I'm embarrassed of wearing headphones. I'm embarrassed to do this. I'm embarrassed to do that. Who, who cares? Let people do what the hell they want to do. Let them do what they want to do because it works for them. And, and, you know, we want people to be able to go through life and be who they are.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: I think the nice thing about like, say the wireless headphones and the AirPods these days, they're a lot smaller. You can conceal them better. It's a little more natural. The look is a lot more accepted. So I think we're getting there in that regard, which helps a lot. And then also hearing aids as well. People are more used to hearing aids and you have things along those lines.
There's this, there's this musical artist that I love so, so much.
His stage name is Passenger.
You might be familiar with his song Let Her Go came out about like 10, 15 years ago. But he's got this one song called Whispers. And I just Wanted to share a couple of lines from a song of his. Everyone's filling me up with noise and I don't know what they're talking about. You see, all he needs, a whisper in a world that only shouts. And I feel like that kind of encapsulates a lot of the story that we just read as well, where there's a lot of stimuli around us, whether it's auditory, whether it's through sight, whether it's on our devices, there's a lot of stimuli and sometimes we do need to chill out, we need to take.
[00:28:03] Speaker B: A break, we need to take a, you know, we have this mindful text thing that we have for all our staff. They get a text at 3 o' clock in the afternoon, or you can pick whatever time, but they get a text at a phone and it's, it's kind of a mindfulness moment and it makes you think and sometimes they're talking about. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, put your headphones on, whatever it might be. Just kind of check out for 30 seconds. All you need is a, a reset because there's too much happening and it's. And you need to just take a breath, close your eyes, relax. You don't need to take hours to do that. Just take 30 seconds a minute. It really makes a big difference.
[00:28:34] Speaker A: It does. It absolutely does. I've been appreciating the text. I've been liking them, so it's good. So the last Reddit story that we have here, it's a short one, but I feel like this sums up a lot of general insecurities that people have. And we kind of touched on this already, especially in the first story.
So again, from our mental health, we have. I want to go to therapy, but I feel like I'm exaggerating.
I'm an anxious person.
I've been having suicidal thoughts and I have a lot of shame and self esteem issues.
But there are people out there that just lost their entire family or they have so much anxiety that they can't sleep, or they're suffering from extreme depression and I'm here complaining about things that seem completely minuscule from those other cases. I feel like that in my head and I'm completely exaggerating everything. Plus I'm scared to open up about things to a therapist, albeit anyone. But my family tells me that I should probably go to see someone because this has been going on for almost a year now. Sorry for my grammar and sorry if it feels like I'm whining. Thank you all so what do you say to something like that?
[00:29:36] Speaker B: We all have our own stuff. We all experience things differently. There are some people that experience a mountain more than that person and are perfectly fine.
Doesn't mean they're super people. It just means that they cope with things differently.
Everybody is a different person. If it impacts that person negatively, no matter how big it is, then it impacts them negatively and they need to talk to somebody and get some help around it. And working with a therapist, I'm not going to say every single therapist is like this, but they should be. They should be non judgmental, empathic and. Well, really, that's it. Non judgmental and empathic. So if you're talking to somebody and they're non judgmental, as a therapist should be, you should feel very comfortable after you get to feel comfortable with them and know them to say anything you need to say. And, you know, think of it like, think of it like a pot of boiling water and you got the lid on. And you know if you keep the lid on, sooner or later it's going to blow off.
But if you open the top and let some steam out, all of a sudden the water drops a little bit. So that's what happens in therapy. You can go, I'm not talking about going and yelling and screaming, but you're holding all these things in. You're not sharing really with anybody about the stuff that you're experiencing. You're beating yourself up about the stuff you're experiencing. You're saying, well, it's not as bad as Sonal, why am I feeling this way? You're comparing yourself to other people.
You need to get in and talk about these things and your experience of those things and don't be ashamed about it. And it doesn't matter if, you know, God forbid, the guy down the street had something much more horrific happening. You have no idea what's going in that person's head and that person's body. You have no idea. Everybody's an individual. Everybody experiences things differently.
We want you to be your best you. So forget that doesn't. Well, I'm not saying be your best you compared to the other guy, be your best you.
So that's what it's all about. Don't compare.
Take care of yourself.
[00:31:25] Speaker A: Then your feelings are valid, whatever that.
[00:31:27] Speaker B: 100% valid.
[00:31:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I know that I've had a lot of friends who come to me and said, it's like, I don't have it nearly as worse as that guy or whatever. It's like, yeah, you might think that but like you have stuff going on, right? Like doesn't we all have stuff? It doesn't negate somebody else's struggles, doesn't negate your own, right? And I think that's a big thing that a lot of people need to recognize sometimes.
A lot of people out there might have like a Superman complex where they try to put the weight of the world on themselves but then they don't get the help for themselves. Right. So hopefully, you know, I hope this person, you know, did reach out to somebody or is in the process. I hope whoever's listening out there, they'll consider the same thing. I think this is a great kickoff for your best you right here. I think this is a great spot to end the episode. We got through our stories. We got through the main points. Is there any last little nugget that you just want to end this on right now?
[00:32:18] Speaker B: No, we should always end it with be your best you. Thanks for joining us today.
[00:32:24] Speaker A: SA.
