Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Hey there. And welcome back to another episode of youf Best yout Real Conversations Around Mental Wellness, brought to you by MHA of Dutchess county and brought to you in part by the Northern and Southern Dutchess Community Coalitions. We're coming to you here in the MHA studios in Poughkeepsie. And we got a great episode for you guys today. I was first introduced to our guest when Andrew was going around doing the whole conference circuit a few months ago and they were able to pair up and she was able to help us out and hopefully we were able to help her out in turn. Absolutely.
So this has been months down the line making this happen. Funny enough, you're up in Saratoga, I live up in Selkirk. We should have just done this in my home studio. Made it easier.
[00:00:43] Speaker C: Of course you want to come to this beautiful studio.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: It's true, it's true. It's like, honestly, I'd come here, then work out of my apartment any day. Honestly. But with us today, we have the founder and chief inspirer of Optimum Potential Data Driven Coaching and Training. She's a certified emotional Emotional Intelligence consultant. We got so much to talk about in regards to that of how she's bolstering businesses, individuals and so much more. And why emotional intelligence is so key not just in the workplace, but in your day to day life. So with us, we have Tracy Solarik.
[00:01:12] Speaker C: Thank you so much for having me, Connor. It's just so wonderful to be in the studio, to be here and meet the folks at MHA and be in your office. Because I've been working with MHA for a couple of years now.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I find this great. Like, I've only been here for like eight months, so it's like I'm still learning everybody and I, I was glad that we were able to connect during that conference circuit time, making sure that everything came together just fine and appreciate all the work that you were doing. So since we're opening with that, let's hear about what that was like. What was that April May timeframe?
We made a bunch of videos here at MHA that we were promoting. We were just kicking off the 988 challenge. We work with Mindful Text, so that was another thing that we were promoting as well. Trying to get some things going along with that. But you and Andrew were collaborating through that time and you were helping us out and vice versa. So walk us through what you, what you guys were doing in these collaborations for this conference and what was your goal at the time?
[00:02:04] Speaker C: Oh, great question. So the collaboration was the conference for the New York State Care Management Coalition. And I was invited to speak for as the keynote speaker, which was such an honor. I mean, 450 people that are so passionate about human services.
And I remember going there and just meeting people face to face. I always like to get to know my audience before I'm giving a keynote to make sure I'm honing in on what are their expectations and what outcome are they hoping for. And what I learned from that crowd is like, this is their focus on renewal, and they need appreciation for all the hard work that they're doing. I could never do their jobs, ever. So I was brought in as a motivational speaker and to talk about emotional intelligence.
So when we define emotional intelligence, it's really all of our different relationships. The number one, the relationship with ourselves. You know, why am I feeling this way? What is making me feel this way? And most importantly, how do I want to show up? So that was a lot of the discussion or the keynote was how are we showing up? So I started that keynote with a song. Can I sing it for you, please? Yes.
You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart.
And I love to start that way. Amazing, because people are shocked. They don't expect a keynote to just, like, come up and start singing. And I like to. I hope that that's bringing them in. Like, okay, this isn't going to be your typical keynote.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: It's not Bueller.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: Right?
[00:03:33] Speaker C: Right. Please, like, can we have something a little different? So we had some fun during the keynote, and collaborating with MHA was awesome because you were just launching the 988 and that piece about I forgot the name of the mindful text, and it tied so perfectly into emotional intell and how I describe it during the keynote.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: So, so good. I love that you start out with a song. And we were saying before we got onto the mic officially, how you were classically trained, you went to Maris, you, you're singing, you're performing as well. So besides doing these coachings and these keynote speeches, you're outperforming as well. So that's great. And those are skills that you can interchange between both careers. It's funny that you do that because I've done a number of speaking engagements myself, especially, like, going to schools, doing, like, either career days or individual things like that. And if I can, I bring the guitar. Sometimes I'll say, I'll save the song for later. It's not the first thing I do, but one of the things that I always do is I try not to bring up any of my credentials. If I do at all, it's going to be at the middle of my speech. I'm not going to bore them with that. I'm going to start with some ridiculous story that has something to do with the people that I'm there, and that they know is like, okay, there's a reason why this guy is here. If I just list off my credentials, it's kind of like, whatever.
But when you hear, like, a fun story that's engaging to the audience and it relates to them, they're hooked right away.
[00:04:53] Speaker C: What I think storytelling is so important. And I'm like you. It's like, I don't have a slide that says, Tracy Solarek went to this college and did these things. It's more, hey, maybe they want to know, how did I get here? And I tell this story of, I started out working in. No, excuse me, I was in corporate America, and I received a nice salary bump in July. And then in September, I was told, this is my last day in the office, one month before my wedding.
[00:05:21] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:05:22] Speaker C: And your reaction is typically what I see in an audience. And I share that story because emotional intelligence, so much a part of it is the empathy. And I want them to. I want to be able to relate to people. Right. I want them to be like, you know, yeah, I. I was let go. I was shocked. I was shocked. And then I realized I'm like, how do I flip this? And it's, things happen for you, not to you. And hence, I started Optimum Potential.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: That's amazing.
[00:05:47] Speaker C: And the reason why. It was because I'm so passionate about leadership development, about building strong cultures. And how do we do that through emotional intelligence.
[00:05:56] Speaker B: It's crazy. We have very similar stories in that sense. And there you go. The empathy. You could be able to relate.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:01] Speaker B: But because yeah, you. You did your research. We were talking before this, how you're like, oh, you were in radio for years. I was in radio, and I got laid off from radio. And it was because of that layoff I had already. I didn't get a good pay bump like you did, but I had three broadcasting awards that just came in, so that's great. And then gone. And it was like, what do I do now? And that's why I started my company. And that company then led me here to mha. And now we're close collaborators.
[00:06:31] Speaker C: Things happen for you. Exactly right. They happen for you.
[00:06:34] Speaker B: It's scary in the moment.
[00:06:36] Speaker C: Oh yeah.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: Because oh my God, that's, that's crazy for you, in the moment. It's like, here you are, you feel like you're on top of the world. This pay bump, you're corporate America, you're about to be married. This is awesome. And then you have that happy wedding, congratulations.
Let's talk about that for a second. It's like, how do you feel like you overcame something like that?
[00:06:55] Speaker C: I had to really take a step back and say, okay, this is a gift. And we all know that when you're preparing for a wedding there are a lot of little details. So that month gave me time to do all those fine details that maybe I wouldn't have had time to do that and to really embrace the moment.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: That's a great perspective on it, honestly. It's true. Like that monthly dump to a wedding. You spend all this time getting ready for the wedding, but you don't realize how much you have to do. Like right before, oh boy, I can't even imagine.
[00:07:26] Speaker C: We did it, you know, that's all that matters.
[00:07:27] Speaker B: Good for you. So let's talk about your company now with Optimum with a Y.
This isn't the TV or Internet company. This is Optimum with a Y. But optimum potential. Again, data driven coaching and training. You have the certification, you're going out there, you're helping individuals, you're helping companies.
What does that look like for you on a day to day?
[00:07:47] Speaker C: Oh, good one. Well, I'm going to take a couple steps back and say that when I was let go I had to think about, you know, what can I do remotely? And this is pre Covid and the reason is we travel a lot. So I was like, okay, what can I do? And I looked into disc training and for those that don't know, disc is a personality profile and you're, you're brought into four quadrants and you're basically labeled into that and it's a one and done. When I did my research, I was like, emotional intelligence was brought to me by a friend and I realized that it's something that you can understand. Where are you today in a list of like 15 different skill sets. So it's everything from number one, your self awareness then your flexibility, optimism. Not in that order particularly so. I'm certified by Multi Health Systems, not to be confused with MHA because I may have done that on occasion.
But Multi Health Systems is based out of Canada. They've been around for 35 years and their number one client is our military.
So you know, it's tried and true. So they have an assessment. So when, when you're asking about like what's my day to day? Well, it's as an entrepreneur, you're doing your prospecting, you're creating your own marketing information, reviewing websites. But the work that I really love is the keynote speaking, the workshop facilitation and one on one and group coaching. And with that my clients take an assessment and they see, okay, of these 15 different areas, here's the skills that I'm currently using and here's some areas of opportunity. Right. So we talk through that with the coaching or if it's a workshop. Workshops are really fun. I love developing them. I love learning with and with people and I love when I was doing a workshop. So at NYS cmc, they I did a keynote and then I did two workshops. One was on retention.
[00:09:31] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:09:32] Speaker C: And one was on active listening. And it's awesome to hear the audience talk to each other. And because of my Dale Carnegie training.
So to back up, Dale Carnegie is the person that wrote the book how to win friends and influence people. Yes, over 100 years ago.
Over 100. Yeah.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Oh my God. I didn't realize the book was that old. I thought it was maybe like 50. Okay.
[00:09:55] Speaker C: Book is old. The concepts still are so relevant today.
[00:09:58] Speaker B: Fascinating.
[00:09:59] Speaker C: So with that, that training that I'm certified in Dale Carnegie as well, I learned how to pull things out of people in a comfortable way to get people out of their seats to work in small groups. And that, that's how my workshops are developed. Nobody wants to hear Tracy get up and talk for an hour. You know, they need to, you know, have a workbook and how do they, what are they thinking about and, and give thought provoking statements. And I'm sure you're going to edit this part. So anyway, when I look at my workshops, it's all about pulling out of people what they, they already know what's inside them. They have that potential. And how do I, as their facilitate, how do I pull it out of them?
[00:10:40] Speaker B: Let's talk about how you pull it out of them. Because one of the things that I was very curious about when doing my research on you was the fact that you have the group, the sessions and the fact that you have the one on ones. So what are you bringing to the table in a group session? What are you bringing to the table in a one on one and what skills are transferable and what skills are different?
[00:10:59] Speaker A: Hmm.
[00:11:00] Speaker C: So the one on one coaching is all about asking powerful Questions. Coaching is very different from therapy. It's very different from mentoring. So whenever I'm coaching, either on a group or with one on one, it's, what's your goal for today? And the goal could be like, I am really stressed out at work, and I have no life work balance. So then I go deep in my file of questions, and I'll say, and I'll pull out the questions, and at the end of the session, it's, what did you learn from today? What are your takeaways?
And more often than not, people are like, this is amazing. I'm so much calmer. I have some tools in my toolbox, and it's not because I taught them. It's because they had the answers within them, and I just asked the questions to bring it out. So that tool, that is transferable with a group, but with a group, you need to make sure that each person is having time to share their perspective. Because often in groups, you'll have one person that may be a little bit on the shy side or introverted and someone that's, like, really out there. So you don't want to have that dominant person take over the whole conversation. So it's my role as a facilitator to make sure there's equal balance with people.
[00:12:09] Speaker B: That's a great way of going about it. That's kind of the way that I feel in a lot of ways. Doing interviews or working with people or consulting on media stuff. As a facilitator, that's the way I kind of look at it as well. Like, make sure it's like, all right, what is it that you're trying to do here? And make sure that the voices are all heard.
This would be a terrible interview show if I was the one speaking the entire time.
You brought up an interesting point a second ago. I know that. I'm very aware that there's a difference between therapy and coaching. I've had a coach at one point, and I've had a therapist, so I've seen both. But there was another dichotomy that you brought up, the difference between coaching and mentoring. And I found that fascinating because.
And I could be very wrong for this, but I do kind of assimilate them. So in your mind, what is the difference? What separates coaching from mentoring and vice versa?
[00:12:55] Speaker C: Sure. So mentoring is futuristic. Okay. Like, what are your goals in the future where coaching is present day?
Okay. Yes. What do you want to get through? Or what do you want to work on today? What is your goal? And my clients sometimes are like, oh, Tracy, I'm not prepared. I'm like, that's okay. Let's just take a moment and think about, like at the end of this session, what would success look like?
So we have about an hour and it's what does success look like?
What's bothering you today? Or what's on your mind? And once you start asking those questions, or even a question about thinking back on your last week, what is something that brought you joy, right? And they're like, oh, joy. Gosh. Well, I've been so stressed about xyz. And then as a coach, I hone in on. You told me you were stressed about the fact that you're working really long hours and you have no time for your family. Let's talk about how you've resolved that in the past. So to answer your question, coaching is present day. Mentoring is, let's see where you want to be in a year from now or 30 days from now or five years from now.
[00:13:57] Speaker B: Hmm, that's fascinating because, you know, when I, when I had a life coach there for a time, shout out to Emma. Love Emma. Fantastic. I should link your stuff in the description of this episode. But when I was with Emma, I feel like, I feel like I was always future minded when I was in there. We definitely talked about that. But it is also interesting because sure, end goal was certainly in sight and we were talking about it, but it's true. It was very much, what can you do today?
[00:14:25] Speaker C: What can you do today?
[00:14:26] Speaker B: So that, that's, that's fair.
[00:14:27] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: I appreciate that breakdown because that wasn't something that was registering for me, but I appreciate. That's lovely. So with that, you know, you said before you were in corporate America, before you took up this position, who are the people that coached or mentored you, that inspired you and made you feel empowered to even do this in the first place?
[00:14:50] Speaker C: That is a great, great question.
The first thing that comes to mind are my parents that I grew up in a rural area outside Rochester, New York, and my parents were just always supportive in anything that I tried, especially with my singing. So. So definitely they were one of my mentors. And then, you know, you go through college and you have some great friends. And there's one professor in particular, and that is Peter Haley. And Peter Haley was a music minister, director of music ministry at Siena College. I transferred from Marist to Siena College and he just saw in me this talent of music and brought it out in me and believed in me in so many different ways. And he's a very Very funny. Funny. Very funny person. And I got into theater at Siena College, and we would just have great rehearsals. And it was through that time that I was like, oh, I am a musician. I am a vocalist. And then I look at corporate America. And my first job was at Map Info Corporation, which is no longer. That was bought out by Pitney Bowes. But there was one guy, Bob Gallo, who saw in me that I had potential, because right out of college, I was working as an administrative assistant for an outpatient drug counseling, which is interesting, because here we are at mha, and I think about all that you do for people across this county and further than that. So to hire somebody in a corporate position.
So Bob Gallo looked at my resume and said, okay, we have this person that, yes, I did take that office. From no computers to bringing in computer systems and such, to now supporting a sales team. So to have somebody who believes in you and saw potential. And I think of my days at Map Info, and it was seven years there, and I grew up there.
[00:16:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:35] Speaker C: So you have mentors along the way? I still have mentors.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:16:39] Speaker C: I'm sure you have mentors.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: Honestly, I would consider Andrew one of my latest ones.
[00:16:42] Speaker A: There you go.
[00:16:43] Speaker B: Honestly, for sure. Because, you know, I've had a number of bosses over the years, and I've been lucky to say that I've had some phenomenal ones, also had some chronic crappy ones. But, you know, it's like the real phenomenal ones stand out and always have a place in my heart. One of the one person I will always shout out in particular is Rob Mish over at Gold's Gym summer camp in lagrange. It was originally at Casperkill, and then it moved over to Gold's Gym. And Rob was just this kind of guy that if you had an idea, he listened to it, he believed in it. If he saw merit in it, it was like, let's run with it. Let's give it a try. And he gave me so many opportunities working at that camp, talking about a place that grew up in and raised you. I really grew up there because I was a camper. I was a CIT and then I was a counselor for 11, 12 years.
So I was doing that from the time I was a teenager into adulthood.
And I thank Rob so much for the opportunities that he gave and the belief that he had. And he really was such a great boss. And I feel like Andrew is very similar in that sense, where he has been like, he'll listen to you if you think it's got Merit, let's try it. Let's run with it. Let's see if we can make something out of it.
They're both very action oriented. They both Rob and Andrew, they don't sit on stuff. It's like, let's do it, you know? And then another one that I want to shout out is Shawn Wendell. When I was working in Albany and he taught me a lot of the studio and live sound recording and a lot of things that I'm doing today, and definitely taught a lot of the ins and outs and the realities to it. But also it was a fun time because we had such a great crew, too. So I think about those moments and like, those. That's like, I know that's only three, it's not four, but that's my Mount Rushmore of great bosses.
[00:18:42] Speaker C: So far, so many. Like, as you're talking, I'm listening to you, and one of the things that you said is, I've had some great bosses and not so great bosses. And during one of my workshops, we talk about empathy and I speak about the importance of empathy. And we brainstorm what makes a good leader and share with the group or your small group a leader that maybe didn't have empathy and what do you wish they did? And then you compare that to, now let's talk about a great leader. And the whole purpose of that is, like, what skills do you need to develop as an empathetic leader for your team? Yeah.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: And actually that was like, the next question that I wanted to bring up were the values and the skills that make a good leader. You're working with so many of them, and you're hoping to build some of the things. So we're talking about empathy. We've talked about listening, we talked about faith. Those are three big things right there. But are there other things that we're missing to this conversation that you feel really adds up to being a great leader?
[00:19:37] Speaker C: Definitely someone who's very sincere, very authentic, someone that's approachable.
So, you know, in this day and age, there's so many things that every single person is balancing, and you need a boss that can walk in their shoes. So again, that's empathy, but also flexibility. Like, you know, because the pandemic people are now used to, can I work from home? I want to go to my child's baseball game or concert or whatever it is. So that flexibility in hours or flexibility in how somebody works, you know, we all work in different formats. We all learn different ways.
I have a whole video on impulse control.
The whole point of are we making, you know, instant decisions or we do we need to take a step back and really think about what is the best decision at this time.
So that's part of the whole assessment that was created by MHS and there's 15 different categories and people look at their report and they go, oh wow, this makes perfect sense for me, you know. Yes, I'm very, very efficient in my own self improvement and I can see that I need to work on my flexibility and one skill that really surprises me. So I've given this assessment to hundreds of people and one of the skills that I find is people aren't assertive and they think they are, but then when we have conversations on what would make you even more assertive, or tell me about a time when you were assertive, it makes people more often than not like sit back and go, gosh, I guess I really aren't that assertive. Yeah, I'm always surprised at that one.
[00:21:08] Speaker B: Yeah, it's something you really have to work towards. I'm a huge people pleaser, I will readily admit that every single day. But I am a different person than I was like five years ago where definitely therapy has helped me. In my case at least. When did I start? Two, three years ago. Therapy, definitely. Setting up boundaries, having that level of assertion. Funny enough, right across the hall, Megan, our marketing coordinator, love her. Fantastic. She's actually one of the reasons, early reasons that helped get me in here in the first place. But she said to me, it was like, Connor, I'm so grateful and so amazed, like how you're able to come in here and give the feedback that you do and you're so open with it and like that is a form of assertion for sure. Not like being fearful to say it's like, hey, this is great or hey, this isn't working or let's offer some other ideas. And it was like the environment makes such a difference too though, because in my previous job, you know, get my head bit off for saying certain things, but then coming over here and being able to freely talk about that stuff. Of course, don't be a jerk about it. But like as I said, if something came up, offer ideas or give your opinion, but be nice about it. It's like you've given the environment to do so.
[00:22:22] Speaker C: Absolutely. You've built that culture.
[00:22:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:24] Speaker C: Because you're an authentic leader. You're one that communicates. That's a big one. We talked a little bit about active listening, but communic just spans around every single relationship. Right. Like if you're not communicating and you're not being where. Meeting people where they are, that's another big one. Meeting people where they are, that goes into the flexibility.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: Absolutely. Yeah. So we've kind of essentially said it already, but really just gotta ask though, is like, why do you think having a strong center and strong sense of emotional intelligence boosts productivity and overall morale in the workplace?
[00:22:59] Speaker C: Because emotional intelligence is tied directly to your overall well being, your happiness.
[00:23:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:05] Speaker C: And that brings in four different quadrants of your own self awareness and your, your leadership skills. And it's all, it's all part of it. You know, when we're happy, you're gonna be more productive, right? Yeah. You want, you want to get up and go to work every day. You want to be working in a good culture that hones in on your skills and wants to see you succeed and be your best cheerleader. Yeah. And award you and be a good mentor to and for people. Right.
[00:23:30] Speaker B: Without a doubt. And it, and then that trickles into every other part of your life because if you're struggling at work and if you're waking up each day, you just like, I've had jobs where I cried on my way to work every single day and then I just have to shake it off, go to work. And then like. But then that affects every other part of your life is like, it affects your relationships, it affects any other hobby, any other, maybe you got a second job, a side job too. And that affects that.
It impacts it all. And if you're not happy and you're not, it's what they say is like, you can't pour from an empty glass.
[00:24:05] Speaker C: Right.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: You know?
[00:24:06] Speaker C: You know, to quote Daniel Goleman, I may botch this up a little bit, but he defines emotional intelligence is what am I feeling, why am I feeling this way and how am I going to manage my emotions?
That's the tie in. And when we really understand how we're showing up, you're happier, you're a happier person, happier at home, happier in your. All your different relationships.
[00:24:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:27] Speaker B: The awareness factor is so key. You need to be mindful of yourself and what's around you. But also having the action to go along with the awareness is great because how often, how often can somebody be very self aware, but how much will they do about it? That's the other thing. That's a really, the accountability factor.
[00:24:45] Speaker C: And that also. I'm glad you're bringing that up because that ties into coaching. So I've had organizations say, oh, let's take a person, Joe Needs coaching. Okay. And I have a discovery call with Joe and then I realized I'm like, Joe is not in a place right now to receive coaching.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Interesting. Okay.
[00:24:59] Speaker C: So you have to be in that place that you're ready to work on yourself. Right. You're ready to take an assessment and see where you fall in these different 15 different categories. And then from there, yeah, I'm open to it. And I'll tell a little story because this, this really surprised me. And I was. I was prospecting with somebody and the person called me and said, I definitely need a coach. And I said, okay, great. And I told him about the process and my packages. You take the assess, we review your 30 page report. It's very detailed and we do that through zoom. And I then send the report via email. I give them about two weeks to look at it and say, I want you to, or I invite you to. I don't want to. I want you. I invite you to read the report.
Mark anything that you're like, oh, this is spot on. And definitely mark the things you're like, I don't know if this really sounds like me. And then just things that you're curious about.
And then you have three or four coaching sessions.
And this person was like, yes, I'm definitely in. And then when we got to the first session, he was like, so adamant and so angry and I just was like, yes. And I was like this. And we hadn't even. He hadn't even taken the assessment yet. And I was like, you know what? I don't. I think we need to hold on this for a little bit. I said it in a very polite way, but it was very obvious to me that this person was not ready for coaching.
[00:26:12] Speaker B: Interesting.
[00:26:13] Speaker C: You have to be ready.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: Where do you think the anger stemmed from? Was it a sense of being challenged?
[00:26:18] Speaker C: I think it all goes to your own self awareness.
[00:26:20] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:26:21] Speaker C: Just not ready to really look at yourself because you're vulnerable. Coaching is very vulnerable. You know, therapy. Very vulnerable.
[00:26:28] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:26:29] Speaker C: No, I don't want to scare people away because I do feel that people get excited about coaching. They're like, wow, I have a coach and I have an executive coach. And I think that's great. I wish I had a coach when I was in corporate America.
[00:26:39] Speaker B: Your coach doesn't solve your problems?
[00:26:40] Speaker C: No, not at all.
[00:26:41] Speaker B: And that's. I think that's one of the biggest misconceptions. If you have looking for a mentor, looking for a coach, looking for a therapist, and any of those, that's something across the line. Thank you again for like, breaking down the dichotomy of it all. But something that's across the line, they can help you, but they will not solve your problems.
[00:26:59] Speaker C: Absolutely not. And I actually have a coach.
[00:27:00] Speaker A: You do?
[00:27:01] Speaker C: Yeah. You know, you think about the best athletes. They have a coach. So why wouldn't I have a coach?
[00:27:05] Speaker B: Yeah. How long have you had your coach then?
[00:27:06] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. I've had one coach for about three, three or four years.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:27:09] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:27:10] Speaker B: How'd you guys come to meet then? Did you search your coach out or was it just kind of serendipity?
[00:27:15] Speaker C: We were both in the international Coach Federation training, and we both needed coaching hours. He needed coaching hours. So it started off that in order to get your credential, you have to have 100 hours, I think is what it is. And I said, oh, you know, Mark, I'd be happy to help you with that. And now we coach each other.
[00:27:32] Speaker B: That's great.
[00:27:32] Speaker C: That's great.
[00:27:33] Speaker B: So you said each other. Does that ever feel like there's a conflict of interest since you are coaching each other?
[00:27:38] Speaker C: It doesn't.
[00:27:38] Speaker B: Just, how's that work?
[00:27:39] Speaker C: We both. We both have the same credential and now it's formed into a friendship. And we still are like, what do you need coaching on? And then we get our coaching hat on. So that's one of my coaches. And I also have a strategic coach.
[00:27:53] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:27:53] Speaker C: So being an entrepreneur.
[00:27:54] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:27:55] Speaker C: There are so many different parts of being an entrepreneur. So I thought, let me. I need a strategic coach.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: No, that makes a lot of sense.
The fact that you said with the first coach that you were talking about that you guys have formed this friendship and the fact that you are both coaches, I feel like in one sense it makes it easier to talk about things because you know where you're coming from.
But where do you draw that line between like a friend giving a friend advice or a coach giving a client advice?
[00:28:23] Speaker C: Another great question. And just for the record, I wouldn't be a coach and friend. Like, I would never have a client that is a paid client as a friend. That. That is a conflict of inference.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:28:36] Speaker C: But because Mark and I went through the coaching credential together.
[00:28:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:40] Speaker C: And we started our relationship on coaching.
[00:28:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:45] Speaker C: We kept it separate. And now sometimes it's just like a catch up call. So we know when we're on the call, like, what's the purpose of this call? Do you need to be coached? And I'm like, I absolutely need to be coached. Here's my topic for Today and we
[00:28:56] Speaker B: go through that establishing purpose.
[00:28:58] Speaker C: That's right there.
[00:28:59] Speaker B: Establishing the purpose and establishing the boundaries.
[00:29:02] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:29:02] Speaker B: Again, it really just boils down to the communications like tell me what you're looking for out of this right now and how can I show up for you and that's present for you.
[00:29:11] Speaker C: That's. We went back to kind of going full circle. Yeah, that, the whole showing up, because that is one of my keynote topics is how are you showing up? But then there's other topics like multi generations. I get that one a lot. Especially in the healthcare field.
[00:29:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:22] Speaker C: They're like, how do we work with each other, with the. As employees, as a team, with multi generations. But then what about that patient scenario where that the nurse is a different generation than the patient? And so I just wanted to bring that up. Multi generations. So that's something I'm hearing more and more about, is not more about getting that request. And so I do have a keynote about how do you manage those multi generations and the different thought processes and one that uses technology and one that maybe shy away from it.
[00:29:53] Speaker B: And yeah, yeah, I may be wrong on this. Somebody out there correct me in the comments, but I feel like we're at a point in time where more generations are working together than we have 100% previous decades. Because like, when you really think about it, first of all, lifespans, health, we can definitely attribute a lot of it to that. But also at the same time too, people have to keep working. Retirement is not what it used to be, you know, so you have, you know, 20 year olds just entering the workforce with people in their 70s who desperately want to retire but can't, or they just love their job and they just keep doing it. But you know, like there's unlimited reasons. But that is kind of crazy when you think about it. That is a large, large timeline of ages that we're working with there.
[00:30:42] Speaker C: Yeah, think about that.
[00:30:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:44] Speaker C: Five decades. Yeah.
[00:30:45] Speaker B: And it doesn't mean that anybody's perspective or reality is right or wrong. It's just different.
[00:30:51] Speaker C: Just different.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:53] Speaker B: Which is insane. Before we bring Andrew onto this, one thing that I really want to ask you is has there been a time working with either an individual or organization that you feel has affected and impacted you as much, if not more as the work that you did to impact them?
[00:31:13] Speaker C: Can you ask that question again, please?
[00:31:14] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
Has there been a time working with an individual or company where you feel you got as much out of it or even more than the people you were working with?
[00:31:28] Speaker C: I have to be really Honest. That I learn every single day in my job, from my clients, from my prospects, from the materials that I'm researching to put together a keynote or a workshop.
And there's, there's one that comes to mind, and it's a law firm that I work for.
[00:31:45] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:31:47] Speaker C: And I was so honored that they had me come and do a keynote for their retreat. And I went and did a workshop and I also coached the lawyers. And at first I was really intimidated. What's Tracy Solarik doing coaching a lawyer? And then I had to take a step back and say, they put their shoes and socks on just like I do. They're people. And the respect I have for lawyers, the stress that they're under is unbelievable. High stress. High, high stress. You know, and that's just one example. A second is when I first started my business, I was brought in by my alma mater, Sienna College. They received a grant and I was the keynote for their leadership program for six months. And their audience were 50 members of the Albany Catholic Diocese.
[00:32:30] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:32:31] Speaker C: And the program was such a hit that they were able to get a second grant for it. So it was two years in a row. So it was a hundred people that I started keynote and workshops and then I ended up coaching them. So that's another. Is coaching people in the Albany Catholic Diocese. Those. The priest was really eye opening and talk about learning from them. And again, the stress people are under. Yeah, it's incredible.
[00:32:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:57] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:32:57] Speaker B: It's interesting what you said with, you know, we're all putting our socks and shoes on and whatnot. And it's definitely in the case of trying to walk in their shoes for a moment just to understand it, you know, doing a lot of these, you know, it's funny, with this podcast alone, all the different people that I've spoken with, you know, you're somebody who has worked with, in collaboration with mha. I've spoken to case managers here at mha and then I've spoken to Grammy nominated platinum selling artists for like, we just announced our Sound of Nashville concert we're having in October and we interviewed each one of the artists.
And I working in radio and having my previous life and also stuff I do outside of mha, I do speak to a number of celebrities, a number of high profile people. And again, just at the end of the day, it was like, yeah, they are just people.
[00:33:47] Speaker C: People.
[00:33:48] Speaker B: They're just people. You know, it's like. And you know, the fact that I have a music background and here I am speaking to musicians for the Sound of Nashville concert. I feel like it's easier to relate. And they can be like, oh, this guy gets me, you know, in a sense. But it's just a matter of, hey, we're all just people. Is like, I don't. I don't really get starstruck anymore because it's like, I'll be impressed. I'll have great respect and reverence, but I feel like it's like, yeah, they're just another person. I can talk to them, so.
[00:34:15] Speaker C: And you can learn from them.
[00:34:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:17] Speaker C: And I think that's really important, too, that we can all learn so much from each other in the moment every single day.
[00:34:22] Speaker B: Yeah. And the moment that you think that you have nothing to learn is the moment that you screwed up the most big time. I think this is a. Probably a good cut off right now in the editing. Connor's going to do a great job on that. We're going to get Andrew here. So here we go. Connor in editing. Here we go. And we're back. And now we got a full studio Magic joining us.
[00:34:41] Speaker A: Magic.
[00:34:42] Speaker B: The magic of editing. Am I right?
[00:34:43] Speaker A: Blink my eyes and I'm right here next to you.
[00:34:46] Speaker B: No, it's like you were in your office a moment ago and you just teleported here.
[00:34:49] Speaker A: I dream of Genie.
That's a. Connor, that's an old replica. I do.
[00:34:53] Speaker B: I know. I watched that show. I was. It was on Nick at night when I was growing up.
[00:34:57] Speaker A: So she said fold her arms at blink.
[00:34:59] Speaker B: Yep, exactly.
[00:35:00] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:35:01] Speaker B: Love it. So, Andrew, obviously you weren't here for the first time. Part of the interview of us talking and whatnot, but we were talking about mentorship, talking about coaching mentorship, and kind of like the difference in the dichotomy of it. And as we were getting ready for this interview with Tracy, you specifically mentioned her as a mentor, really, to you and things as. As a whole. So would you like to explain what you mean by that and how you feel like she's mentored you?
[00:35:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I feel very blessed in my role here at MHA because there's a. There's a great group of not for profit leaders in this area. And the CEOs or executive directors that lead of those organizations, we all have a pretty good relationship. We go out to dinner, we got the lunch, we talk, we get on the phone. You need that. It's a confidential conversation about, you know, things because, you know, it's. It's kind of lonely being on top sometimes and you're dealing with stuff and you don't know who to talk to, because you really can't talk. Some things you really can't talk to staff about because it's not relevant to them and it'd be gossip, I guess.
So to have somebody that you can confidentially discuss things with, that understands, because they're running agencies around my size. Agency. And it's really, really helpful. But on top of that, I've. A few times in my career as being the executive director for 13 years, I've employed or signed contracts with people who could. I don't know if mentor is the right word, but I guess it is. Coach. A coach. So Tracy was a coach for me for a little over a year or two, and we. We talked every couple weeks, and it was really great. I mean, she asked the right questions. She got me to, you know, deal with, you know, we. We all have things, right? So we're all not perfect. And I know what my pitfalls are. My pitfalls are that I'm not as quick to act on certain things as I should be. I might have avoided. I'm quick to act on making things happen. But when I'm faced with dealing with a difficult staff situation or shutting down a department or something big like that that's going to impact people's lives negatively, I do have a hard time with that. I try to avoid. I don't try to. I guess I do try to avoid. I avoid.
I avoid. So having her talk that through, her challenging me on what it is that, you know, I'm avoiding and why and.
And then, you know, just the idea that. And it's the same with therapy. You know, if you give. If you're a therapist and you give someone homework to do, that could go one of two ways. Number one, it could be they come. They don't want to come back because they didn't do their homework and they're embarrassed, or they do their homework and they come back and they can't wait to report it, or like I did many times. I just came back, but I said I didn't do it.
Kind of like. Kind of like homework in high school,
[00:37:40] Speaker C: you know, it's important to, like, differentiate coaching and mentoring and therapy. And that's one thing that Connor and I spoke about. Because when you said I helped you, well, I asked the questions, you did the work.
[00:37:49] Speaker A: Right.
[00:37:50] Speaker C: And that's the thing with a coach is, like, you're working in the present moment. And when we started a session, like, what's your goal for today? At the end of this hour together, what does success look like? And making sure that your time is valuable, valued.
[00:38:03] Speaker A: Well, it helped me keep on track, helped me process the areas. And she's a very good listener. She knows other parts of the agency because we talked about it previously. And she would ask me questions about how does that tie into this part of the agency. It's a very complicated agency. There's a lot of moving parts.
But it was extremely helpful. And I would encourage anybody in a leadership role to take the opportunity to have a mentor or. What did you call? A coach.
In fact, we've hired Tracy on for some of our staff members here who are in leadership roles, and they're utilizing the sessions, and it's really helpful. They've said nothing but very positive things about it.
[00:38:46] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:38:47] Speaker B: I'm not surprised by that at all. It's just this conversation alone, even before all the other work and research and whatnot, is like, this conversation alone just gives me a lot of faith in the things that you do. So that's fantastic. So I'm curious then, working with Andrew and working with some of the other leaders. As Andrew just said, there's a lot of different facets to this organization.
So many more than a lot of people out there in the community truly realize. And I'm only like seven, eight months in, and I'm still learning about it myself.
What were certain things that fascinated you or surprised you about the various facets of MHA here?
[00:39:22] Speaker C: I honestly, Andrew, didn't realize the enormous impact you have on this county. Like, that was like, wow. Like, not only the people that you're serving, but working with the police officers and the homeless and all the different departments that you have within MHA. How many people do you employ here?
[00:39:41] Speaker A: About 230. 30 of them are about 200 full time and 30. Yeah. You know, it was interesting. A board member told me the other day that we have this big project. We might have talked about it. It's still not done yet, but there's this big project called the Wallace campus, which is 187units of. Of affordable housing in the city of Poughkeepsie that the groundbreaking has happened, where they're starting to build. I found out it won't be till 2028 when it's actually done, and people are moving in. But it. It's. It's an area of controversy for people in this community. Some people want it because they understand that affordable housing is necessary, and other people are like, you know, not my backyard. I don't want that. I don't. What kind of people are going to be living there and this kind of thing and tax money and everything. So we had a board member that was at an event, and the board member was saying this stuff about the Wallace campus, and he said, yeah, but did you know this? Did you know that? Did you know this? And they didn't know it. And they're like, that's interesting. He goes, what's your email address? And he sent the guy two of my board reports that cover not just the Wallace campus, but a lot of what we're doing. And their response was they had no idea how much MHA was doing in his community. So I think that's Connor. Connor's point is, like, there's. The people in community don't know about what we do. I mean, we've done a really good job in the last 13 years with radio and putting our name out there. People know now. People at least know of the name, but they don't know everything we do well.
[00:41:01] Speaker C: And the 988 campaign that you were so dedicated to all throughout the month
[00:41:05] Speaker A: of May, still, I still want to kick that up a notch, Michelle going, we're still going.
[00:41:10] Speaker B: But that was a great experience to get that started in the beginning of the year. And the help that you had with it during the whole conference circuit was great.
[00:41:17] Speaker A: Yeah, that was great. Yeah, we did a conference. Tracy was a keynote at the conference. I run up in Niagara Fall. Niagara Falls. And.
And we. We got. And I did the keynote, and I got the whole crowd talking about 988 and yelling it and standing up. And that was a great kickoff to the whole thing. So it was fun.
[00:41:33] Speaker B: That's powerful.
[00:41:34] Speaker A: Yeah, that's powerful.
[00:41:35] Speaker B: Pretty much what I'm getting out of all this and talking about, like, understanding what it is that MHA does, or really anybody does, honestly, it goes to just a sense of ignorance to a degree most people challenge because they are ignorant, for lack of a better word. You know, we are fearful of what we don't know. So I want to pose this to both of you guys, because both would have very interesting perspectives of it all.
You as a coach, you as a leader of an organization.
How do you approach somebody you're working with when they approach you with fear? How do you help to remedy their fear?
I don't know if anybody wants to take this.
[00:42:19] Speaker C: Andrew's like, go for it, Tracy.
I would approach it as, tell me a time when you were fearful and how did you overcome it?
And one thing with coaching is the almighty pause, because I may know the answer right But I want that person to really think back on a time that they were very scared and unsure because they had the skills within themselves. So they would give me the answer, tell me something that you were scared about, and then what exactly did you do to overcome it? And then you tie it into. So how would those skills, those tools in your toolbox, how would that help you through this instance that you're feeling fearful?
[00:43:01] Speaker B: That's important.
And I love reading philosophy, whether it's Eastern or Western. And one of the main things about philosophy is never giving somebody an answer, but rather asking the question so that they can find the answer for themselves, whatever that might be.
[00:43:14] Speaker C: Yeah. The other thing you can do is ask them who's somebody that you admire?
And then say, well, how do you feel? Or how have you seen them react when maybe they were uncertain?
[00:43:23] Speaker B: Yeah. And that gives them a lot of confidence because that gives a very real life perspective of it. Something that's actually tangible, something that they can relate to. Especially what you said a moment ago is like a moment where you did overcome said fear. It reminds them. It's like you did it before, you can do it again.
[00:43:38] Speaker C: You got it. You just got to find it within you.
[00:43:40] Speaker B: That's.
[00:43:40] Speaker C: You got to find it within your heart.
[00:43:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:42] Speaker B: Andrew, did we give you enough time? Do you think you got an answer for us?
[00:43:44] Speaker A: Same as she said?
I would say that I want to explain.
I don't. I'm not one to say you have to do this and I'm getting a tiny bit off the, off the road there, but you have to do this, so do it. It's more about, you have to do this because A, B, C, D. I want people to understand why something is happening so they can better address better, you know, accept it and understand it. It's not just some mandate.
I want to ask them questions, probing questions, find out what it is they understand about whatever it is. You know, if, let's say you're alluding to this Wallace campus project and somebody.
It doesn't understand it all ignorant to me is a very negative term. Which is fine, maybe. No, no. But I get it. But I get it. That just means you're not, you don't really, you don't really understand. Uneducated on that topic. So, you know, understand what they know. And then, and then I wouldn't just. There's things that come with opinions like, like the, you know, you know, we need affordable housing or whatever. I mean, I don't, I wouldn't focus on that. I would focus on the facts and you know, they have to decide what they want to decide. But, but I also say, I also like to challenge people to tell me what the worst case scenario is. So let's say, you know, they're fearful about a speech or they're fearful about making a decision or I've had conversations with leaders here who they go to the worst case catastrophize. You know, this is going to happen and it's going to, it's going to be the trickle down theory and it's going to be this. And I go, that's really unlikely, but. And that is your worst case scenario, I guess. But that's not going to happen. So let's really focus on your worst case scenario. What's the worst thing that can happen here? And it's really not that bad. So, you know, you just try to normalize it. And frankly, if you could project no fear about it or no concern about it, especially if it's related to this agency and what we're doing here, then hopefully they walk around about, walk out feeling a little less nervous about a situation because I didn't have any nervousness about it. I might have been shaking in my boots, but I don't like to present that.
I don't want to present that because that's just, you know, facilitates more fear in them. And you know, really it's not the end of. Nothing's the end of the world. Yeah, you can always get through anything.
[00:45:48] Speaker B: You know, coming into a room and being resolute about something and being sure and being stable, it makes such a difference. You know, this isn't work related, but there was a situation recently with my girlfriend and I and she came to me about something and she was terrified. I was terrified too, but I was like, if I show how terrified I am right now, this isn't going to make the situation any easier. So I was able to, you know, kind of walk us through it. And I had some practical background in it, so I was able to kind of like get us through some steps. And then once it was all over, I was like, oh my God, I was terrified. It was like, really? You didn't look it. I was like, I was trying not to, but that, that's, that's so big. And then also talking about what you said about like, do this and just because you have to do it. No, it would be great to do this because X, Y and Z and explain the why of it all.
I was talking to Tracy earlier about like the difference between the bosses that I Had that I really loved versus the ones that I really didn't. And somebody who can. Like that. No, but here's why. Or yes, and here's why. Or can you do this? Here's why. Was so much better than anybody who's just like, no, and then just left it at that.
[00:47:00] Speaker A: Well, I'll take it one step further. I mean, if I'm describing to a group of people why we have to do a certain new procedure or process, if there are pieces of that process that aren't mandated by entities above us, and I'll explain all that, that's why we have to do it. But if there are pieces in which we have flexibility, then I'm going to try to elicit from them the answers, because they're the ones doing the work. I'm not doing the work. So they're doing the work. And I don't, I don't want to impose my process if there's room for them to design their own process.
[00:47:33] Speaker C: I think we're also talking about just taking those little baby steps, like you mentioned, that, like, we don't have to create a huge process and change everything. Like, what are some incremental things? What are some incremental things that we can do to make that change?
[00:47:47] Speaker B: No, without.
[00:47:47] Speaker C: I like the why as well. Why tell why?
[00:47:50] Speaker B: Yeah, why is such a big thing? Because if you just tell somebody to do it and you don't give a good reason for it, and it's like, why the hell should I do that?
[00:48:00] Speaker A: Right.
[00:48:00] Speaker C: Soliciting input.
[00:48:01] Speaker B: Yeah. And then like, just to do it
[00:48:03] Speaker A: because somebody said so is like, ridiculous.
[00:48:05] Speaker C: You gotta get that buy in.
[00:48:05] Speaker B: It's like parenting buy in.
[00:48:07] Speaker A: Yes, because I said so, right?
[00:48:09] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:48:10] Speaker A: It doesn't get you very far.
[00:48:11] Speaker B: I. I find some of the best parenting and, you know, my parents were like this. They. It was like, why can't I do something? It's like, well, we have this going on, so we have to take care of this. Versus, like, oh, okay. Or it's like, I can't do it right now because of this. But, you know, maybe we could come back tomorrow or maybe we can do this at home. It's like, like, oh, okay. Instead of just as, like. No.
[00:48:29] Speaker A: Palatable. Yeah.
[00:48:31] Speaker B: It. It makes it palatable. It makes it tangible. It makes it something that's like, you can comprehend it. Otherwise, you're kind of left with this uncertainty and all these questions, and then you just get frustrated by it. So that's not just a workplace thing. That's not a parenting thing. That's just a life thing and to be able to carry that into the workforce just makes everything so much easier.
[00:48:49] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:48:50] Speaker B: So we're getting towards the end of this. We. This is going to be a pretty sizable episode, I think, but a lot of great stuff in it. Before we completely wrap up, is there any, like, specific nugget about leadership that either one of you want to lead, leave off on based on what we talked about? I know, Tracy, you've had double the amount of time Andrew's had on this microphone, so you have a little more perspective on the whole conversation. But any last little nugget on like leadership and how we can use emotional intelligence moving forward,
[00:49:20] Speaker C: I'll say when a leader really knows themselves and they're emotionally intelligent and we talked about this, Connor, that, you know, the assessment that was built by MHS and people see on paper, this is who I am today. Because emotional intelligence is something that does develop and should continue to develop over time. So the higher the emotional intelligence, the happier you are and the more productive you are and the better leader you are. And that's not just Tracy saying that there's, there's true data that shows that.
[00:49:49] Speaker B: Terrific. No, that's great.
[00:49:51] Speaker A: I would say the answer.
I'm going to answer the question as if I'm not the executive director, but I'm a leader, an upcoming leader.
I think that you need to be able to listen, understand, and if you don't understand, then ask questions, but also be able to hear questions. So there are some staff that I talk to about certain things and I will explain, you know, that it has, it should be done this way. And I explain why, but because they don't, I guess they don't believe that, they immediately shut that off and start. I'm not going to say argue, but, you know, push back without actually listening to the whole thing. And I find myself saying to them, we are saying the exact same thing. What are you in a stance of defensiveness for? Like what is happening right now? So just being open to listen, ask questions as you're coming up the ranks, as you're learning jobs. Don't ever burn bridges.
Burning bridges. I can. I, you know, I, I don't want to say this on here, but I will and you'll cut it out. There's a lot of people who I work for when I work for the county and I was, I was moving up the ladder, I like to believe it was because I was hard working. I am. But I embraced the work. I owned the work I ran, I worked In a clinic. Like, it was my clinic, and I wanted to be successful, and that's something you have to do as a leader.
But there were people that watched me jump ahead, and, you know, you're part of the man's club. And they were just nasty to me. They didn't like it.
And then they retired from the county, and I'm running an agency, and all of a sudden they're looking for jobs. And guess what?
Sorry. You burn some bridges.
I'm very forgiving, but I don't hold grudges. But, no, I don't want to work with you again. Like, why would I do that?
[00:51:35] Speaker B: You can forgive, but it doesn't mean that you have to keep somebody in your life 100%. Yeah. It's like, you can be like, hey, I forgive you. We're all good. But. But you know that they're not a good fit to work together with, and that's fair, and that's fine.
[00:51:48] Speaker A: We learned it. We did that road. We did that dance. It didn't work out. You stepped on my feet, I stepped on yours.
[00:51:52] Speaker C: We fell back.
[00:51:53] Speaker B: That is a big. That's. That's a big pill for a lot of people to swallow, which is huge. And I feel like that can also translate over to family, friends, anything in regards to that. That's big. Guys, this has been a fantastic episode. Tracy, again, thank you so much for. Thank you so much for being down here.
Hopefully we can do something again. And maybe, you know, I'm. I live in Albany County. We can do something a little closer to Saratoga and Albany and whatnot.
[00:52:17] Speaker C: So I really appreciate the opportunity. Thank you.
[00:52:18] Speaker A: You're welcome.
[00:52:19] Speaker C: Thank you, Andrew. Thank you, Connor.
[00:52:20] Speaker B: Absolutely appreciate it.
